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[Goblin] In memoria

Fandom: Goblin
Generi/Warning: introspettivo, stream of consciusness, angst
Parole: 1211
Prompt: In Memoria
Note: scritta per l'ultima settimana del CoW-T7, non betata, non riletta.


In memoria


The dokkaebi has lived many lives, each of them were his own life, each of them were the same, as he never died, he never rested and never ceased.
He couldn’t die and in his eternal life he had learned how to survive, he had learned how to keep going even when everything and everyone else perished and left him. Not forever, though, never forever; his friends reincarnated and come back to him, with different faces, in different bodies, at different times, but despite that he could always find them, he could always recognise them and with time he became really good at recognising souls and faces.
As centuries passed the world changed and the Goblin never stopped, there was no end for him, no rest; he witnessed the evolution of man, the everlasting turning of the world, the passing of seasons. He learned how and why flowers would blossom in spring, the time taken by strawberries to grow and mature during summer, he learned the movements of the winds and the colours of fallen leaves during fall, he knew fifteen different ways to call the snow and how to decorate a Christmas tree when the deepest time of winter arrived. He learned so many things during those years, those decades and centuries, and he reused the importance of being clever and cultured and rich. So he started a business and invested in the future and invested in technology and tourism and started a company.
He was never satisfied though, and even when there was someone with him, even during those days when he wasn’t feeling like the world was revolving too fast and time was running out – not his time everyone’s time – he felt alone.
And then, suddenly, he wasn’t anymore.
His life turned upside down and became worth living, filled with people laughter and smiles and awkwardness. It started with a wish, the faint desire to find his wife to end his life, a desire that changed along the way and got turned into his will to live, to love, to be happy.
It was Deok Hwa’s fault, somehow. He brought the Grim Reaper home and they started the most absurd cohabitation two supernatural beings had ever experienced. It was fun, in it’s own way. It was fun and painful and too short. And even when he realized who the Grim Reaper had been in his previous life, even when he had the possibility of calling him Wang Yeo and not just Reaper, it was okay. Well, of course he had to understand first and forgive, but it was okay, because he made peace with his past and his regrets found a place to rest, buried in a field of white flowers, lightened by a street lamp, along the memories of a long distant life. And it was okay because the Goblin had found a friend, an awkward fried that would listen to him, that would argue and talk and do the laundry and get angry and live with him.
And then she arrived. Well, it was more like she knocked on his door, wishing for love, wishing for a future, wishing for him. And although he found her too annoying and too lively and too young, he secretly hoped she wasn’t the one, he hoped, with all his heart that maybe there was a mistake and that she wasn’t really his wife. Because if she was, he would have died and everything would have come to an end.
The Dokkaebi wasn’t ready for it to end.
As life grew shorter and the time grew nearer, the Goblin realized he wanted to live, he wanted to love, he wanted Eun Tak.
She was a hurricane and her smile was like the sun; Kim Shin never met a woman like her and he knew he never would again, she was able to make him to strive to be better, a better man, a better Goblin, a better everything. Eun Tak smiled and Kim Shin knew that life was worth living again, he knew the world spin faster and that the universe could wait. There were so many things he wanted to do with her, for her and when he suddenly realized he loved her, that was when everything changed again.
His sister came into their lives, well she had always been there he just wasn’t able to see her. Sunny – not Sun He – was so different from what she once had been, and she was so strong and independent and stubborn and Kim Shin knew, he just knew she was once again someone to be proud of, someone he cherished more than his life.
It was back then that the cracks on the walls of memory broke and said wall collapsed in pieces as fragments of who they once had been came like the tine into who they were, changing them, moulding their lives, and their love, and their memories. Tears and pain and regret and broken love, they had been part of their lives once and they were now once again.
Sunny couldn’t breathe, the Grim Reaper couldn’t breathe, Eun Tak couldn’t breathe.
Like that, in a night filled with stars, under a dark and silent sky, the Goblin died and disappeared into nothingness, leaving behind a broken girl, forgotten memories of what had been and a trail of sparks and tears.
It wasn’t the end, though. Not really, not forever.
And one day, on the day of the first snowfall a different Eun Tak – older, emptier, broken – wished for something, she wished so hard that tears filled her eyes and her heart burst in her chest for the pain, aching for something she couldn’t recognise. He was back once again, in a world that had kept spinning, in world that had forgotten, but only for a while and not everyone.
And there was a brief time, during those days of happiness, when everyone remembered and the future looked bright that Kim Shin truly believed that they would have an happy ending. All of them.
But Sunny left, leaving behind a broken Grim Reaper, leaving Wang Yeo to drown into his regrets and into his mistakes, cursed by his past. It was the beginning of the end.
It was cold that day, they had been married for such a brief time and everything shined and gleamed as the world was perfect in his eyes; that day Eun Tak died and the Goblin was alone, again.
It was once again as it always had been, he was alone, walking the streets of a world far too big and far too cruel to live in; the colours faded and turned to grey and the rain came again and again without him being able to stop it.
It was the normal evolution of events and as life went on the world kept turning, and Sunny died, and the Gream Reaper left forever with her, over the door past the path of the living, and Deok Hwa grew and became a man.
Time passed, days and years and decades and the goblin waited, living in a world he couldn’t see, living in his memories, remembering his love, remembering his friends, knowing that one day they’d meet again.

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